Rick James Was Wrong
4:28 PM
Cocaine. Coke. Rick James' favorite party favor.
I knew what it was. Kind of. I have heard of the infamous white powder. I know my friends have snorted it at least one time at some point in their clubbing years. The thing about coke is that it's not a social drug. Even Miley Cyrus agrees. Weed and ecstasy, you can do with friends. But coke? You make a beeline for the bathroom and do a line in a stall. Or do a Kathryn Merteuil and sneak some powder in your crucifix pendant. I know I have a locket charm on my bracelet than can do the trick.
Like coke, I had no idea how pricing goes or where to get it. I am probably the worst or best drug addict in the history of ever, depending on how you look at things. You see, I never get addicted to anything. I don't have connections to weed growers (anymore since Cha and I broke up), and I most certainly have no idea where to get hard drugs or know what an eighth is or how much that costs...or if 'eighth' even has anything to do with coke or heroin. See? I suck at drugs.
I always drew my line at weed and molly. Weed guaranteed dreamless sleep, and molly, which I did one time, made for confusing but wild sexy time.
After watching Breaking Bad, I at least knew that meth was bad news, period. Even back in the Philippines, where the drug of choice is shabu (the slang term for meth), the users looked fucked up and I was not about to take up that look.
Heroine is still confusing to me. I sometimes mistake it for cocaine, and I'm still not sure what the difference is. I guess heroin is stronger? Mehhhh.
Cocaine, on the other hand, I had a better understanding. I know the type that you snort can't be burnt, unlike the freebase and crack kind, which you can smoke or inject, among other things.
So it was during a holiday weekend that I decided I wanted to give cocaine ONE try. Just to satiate my curiosity. They say that once you do cocaine, you can't stop because you'll keep chasing that first high. It's like when people say once you ride a bike, you'll never forget how, or that once you go black, you'll never go back. I will tell you right now that those are bullshit. I fell off a bike when I was 10 and I have never been able to successfully pedal forward past two feet without toppling over, and one of my friends went from black boyfriend to Asian fiancé. So spoiler alert: I tried coke and I'm not itching to do it again.
Here's what happened:
I had a three-day weekend. I wanted to do coke during one of the first two days so I had at least one day to recover before I go back to work.
A little bag of cocaine was procured. It may have cost $30. I'm not sure. I didn't tag along during the buy.
I tried pushing back the snorting til the end of the night. It was just me and my sponsor. He had been doing a couple of lines while playing Destiny on his Xbox. Finally, around midnight, I declared that I was ready.
He cut me a small, thin beginner's line with a card. Shorter than my pinky. Probably an inch and a half long.
I asked him a million questions while he cut the line:
- How does it feel after?
- Does it hurt your nose?
- Is it going to make me throw up?
- What are the side effects?
- Will I have a hangover?
- What does it taste like?
- Should I snort it slow or fast?
- If I snort it too fast, will it stick to the back of my nasal cavity?
- What was this cut with?
- Does it burn?
- Should I do it standing up or sitting down?
- Should I do it straight across, or diagonally to the right, or to the left?
I read about 'the drip' when I Googled the effects of snorting meth, right after watching a scene of Tuco taking a hit and spazzing out immediately. I thought it was a case of overreacting, but I wanted to be sure. Read the first comment in the thread. I was scared of the drip.
He handed me the block of wood where he cut the line and a piece of straw, which I was instructed to insert halfway up my nostril and inhale through. This would ensure that the coke traveled in a uniform direction.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I examined that line for over half an hour. I did test snorts in thin air and beside the line itself, making sure that I could wield the straw properly. I relined the coke many times, tapering one end, changing the direction it inclined, etc. I would hover over one end of the line, determined to JUST DO IT, counting down in my head, but I'd back out at the last second.
My sponsor finally offered to do a line with me, hoping it would ease the tension. I watched him snort the line through the straw without pause. It looked so easy. I didn't know what I was scared of. My exes did coke a few times when they were young, and they're still alive. Many famous celebrities do coke and other hard drugs and they're still alive. What could go wrong?
I poised the straw on my line. Counted down from three. And breathed in.
I stopped for a nanosecond in the middle, shocked at the sharp metallic taste that briefly invaded my throat, but I pushed on and finished the line. I threw down the straw and growled.
Then I went straight to the bathroom to pee. While sitting on the toilet, I waited for any changes in mood, feeling, or any sort of sensory perception. Nothing. Except when I swallowed, I felt the laundry detergent taste of powder dripping down my nasal cavity to my throat. The dreaded drip. It was gross. I grabbed a glass of water to mask the horrible taste.
The drip is a weird feeling. It's like when you have phlegm in the back of your throat, except that you can swallow or force phlegm out. Drip has its own agenda. You can't swallow or cough or force it down with any liquid. You just feel nasal for a few minutes.
So the worst part was over. And I didn't feel a thing. I may have taken a too small amount. Was it worth it? Eh. Am I going to chase that high? What high? I had a worse hangover from molly.
Rick James was wrong. I totally stressed over nothing.
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